Whoo- Rock and roll!<\/strong><\/p>\n Seriously- I thought these guys were a heavy metal band!!! What kind of band is this!? Do you have any idea how often people do the dishes in this movie? It\u2019s absolutely ridiculous, it happens over and over again- these people are better behaved than I am! Well\u2026 They are Canadian, I guess. Actually, I guess it’s not fair to call them complete prudes- they do pack in kind of a lot of sex scenes.<\/p>\n \u00a0Including one where these two get it on. I bet you’re real excited for that.<\/strong><\/p>\n While working on their new material, all of which is just terrible, by the way, Triton is plagued by two horrible, dark entities, firstly; some bizarre, evil force from Hell that seems to be picking off people one by one while somehow remaining totally undetected, and two: Stig, their drummer, who is a massive hunk of bullshit shaped into a human, and who ruins everything all day everyday just by being alive.<\/p>\n This is Stig, the biggest piece of shit in the whole fucking world.<\/strong><\/p>\n Stig sucks like crazy. The actor playing Stig also sucks. Part of what makes Stig such a vicious attack on your desire to continue living is his accent; this character has the lousiest, phoniest sounding Australian accent of all time, it\u2019s cringe inducing. It makes Tarantino\u2019s accent in Django Unchained sound pro-level. It\u2019s like the closest thing to dialogue coaching this guy got was to be shown a photograph of a Koala bear and be told that Australians \u201cSorta sounded like people from England, only slower. Okay, action!\u201d Later on in the film Stig is murdered (thank you) and replaced by a demon replicant who doesn\u2019t even have an accent, but nobody in the band seems to mind the change given that this new Stig is a better drummer and is less obnoxious.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n If it is wrong to kick a man when it\u2019s down, then it is, frankly, unethical to apply any form of criticism to Rock N\u2019 Roll Nightmare, because no man could ever be more down than this, but I am going to go ahead and confirm what you probably expect; this is a low budget, lame, badly made film with little in the way of talent, on, or off screen. That\u2019s really about all that can be said, except, that is, for a detailed, photographic essay on the films climax, which is just fucking ridiculous. Ordinarily I would shy away from revealing the end of a film, but this time I\u2019m absolutely going to walk you through the ending because, for one, it\u2019s the only reason to talk about this movie in the first place, and two, who gives a fuck? That being said, if you fear spoilers, turn away now. Turned away yet, have you? On we go, to the film\u2019s hilarious climax.<\/p>\n![\"feel](\"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/feel-the-metal.jpg\")
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