{"id":4772,"date":"2016-01-07T02:55:41","date_gmt":"2016-01-07T02:55:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/?p=4772"},"modified":"2016-01-07T02:55:41","modified_gmt":"2016-01-07T02:55:41","slug":"violent-shit-the-movie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/?p=4772","title":{"rendered":"VIOLENT SHIT: THE MOVIE"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/del>Violent Shit: The Movie<\/strong><\/a>~ 2015, Luigi Pastore, Italy<\/p>\n

\"ViolentShitOfficialArtFeat\"<\/p>\n

Sigh<… You’d think by now that I’d have learned a thing or two about not getting my hopes up, but when I read the announcement for this project, it got my attention. It’s such a bizarre turn of events;Violent Shit<\/a><\/strong><\/em>, the quintessential no-budget German splatter film, was being remade- and by the Italians no less! The new film would have a higher budget (not saying a lot), better production value (saying even less), and would sport an original soundtrack by legendary composer\u00a0Claudio Simonetti! And if that doesn’t float your boat, it would even feature Euro-horror icon Giovanni Lombardo Radice<\/strong> (AKA John Morghen<\/strong>) in a central role! Holy damn, how could I not want to see this movie?<\/p>\n

I’m not crazy about\u00a0the Violent Shit<\/em> films (I kinda hate them), <\/a>but this is tantamount to humanity entering some totally bizarre cinematic echo chamber. Violent Shit<\/em> was clearly influenced heavily by the Video Nasties<\/strong> that came before it, and now we have this imitation video nasty being made in Violent Shit’s<\/em> image more than twenty five years later, as if the original movie was just\u00a0a fan film based on something that didn’t exist yet. At the very least, it looked like this could lend some legitimacy to the franchise, and it would\u00a0very\u00a0clearly be worth checking out. So, suffice to say, I preordered the Blu Ray. Will I ever learn?<\/p>\n

No, no I won’t. it should go without saying that for all the excitement this strange stage in the evolution of the\u00a0Violent Shit<\/em>\u00a0series may have generated, you can save yourself the trouble; Violent Shit: The Movie<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0is easily the worst film in the entire franchise. It’s kind of amazing that that’s even possible, but here we are. Amazing things happen everyday.<\/p>\n

THE PLOT~<\/strong> When a series of bizarre and brutal murders begin to occur throughout Rome, German authorities send a detective from Hamburg to cooperate with Italian police in investigating\u00a0what they\u00a0fear\u00a0may be the return of legendary German super murderer Karl The Butcher<\/strong>. Naturally, our two detectives waste no time in their investigation to uncover the mysterious truth behind Karl’s return, and to stop the killer before he strikes again. That’s only the first half of the movie, however, after that, the film changes its mind and decides that it wants to be about\u00a0Giovanni Lombardo Radice’s Satanic coke party, and all of the work the film did in it’s first half establishing characters and plot is tossed in the toilet and discarded forever. We see some sleazy Italians have sex, Karl makes a few brief appearances, and is then casually decapitated in someone’s backyard like it ain’t no thing, and then the fucking movie is over and\u00a0Luigi Pastore laughs maniacally inside his ornate, cavernous mansion, because he knows you just watched his shitty movie and he has your money, and there’s nothing you can do about it.<\/p>\n

Holy smokes.\u00a0This franchise deserved better. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but it really did.\u00a0It’s probably as good at time as any to remind you what the original Violent Shit<\/em>\u00a0looked like:
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Yeah, it looked like garbage, complete and utter garbage, because that’s what it was. It was the product of a handful of German kids dicking around with a VHS camcorder on the weekends, and somehow, the world decided that this was a movie, and now people own copies of it on friggin’ DVD. Even this, meager as it was, was a better experience than what Pastore has done with the Violent Shit<\/em> franchise.<\/p>\n

In fact, why is this even a Violent Shit<\/em> movie? It’s not even that violent!\u00a0It’s a complete waste of the license. Karl The Butcher is basically delegated to the role of a party favor, in simple point of fact,\u00a0this is a complete under-utilization of the Violent Shit<\/em> brand. This movie is really just about Giovanni and his weird antique collecting\/Devil worshiping shit that he’s into, which would be okay, since I do like seeing Radice back again, but damn it, you guys. You\u00a0probably should have made SOME KIND of\u00a0effort to make your Violent Shit<\/em> movie a VIOLENT SHIT<\/em> movie. Seems like that would obviously be important.\u00a0I really\u00a0can’t tell you how profoundly short this movie comes insofar as delivering what is expected of it. The only other franchise reboot I can think of that shit the bed to this dramatic of a degree is actually Leprechaun Origins<\/a><\/strong><\/em>, which is a Leprechaun<\/strong><\/em> <\/a>movie that somehow forgot to put the Leprechaun in it. Yeah, that was actually worse… But still.<\/p>\n

Violent Shit the Movie<\/em> isn’t just bad, it’s puzzlingly bad. It’s frustrating, pointless, and every mistake it makes is so painfully obvious that\u00a0it actually makes the experience of watching it\u00a0irritating in ways which surpass the natural unpleasantness one would\u00a0experience when sitting through a crappy movie. Violent Shit The Movie<\/em> is the sort of bad that demands retaliation, like after having seen it, you feel like you’ve been wronged on a personal level. Truly, hell holds a special place for Luigi Pastore.<\/p>\n

Oddly enough, Andreas Schnaas’ Anthropophagus 2000<\/span><\/u><\/a><\/strong><\/em>, his semi-illegal remake of Joe D’Amato’s<\/strong> 1980 video nasty, is, while still shitty,\u00a0a much better experience, overall. Apparently, converting Italian to German works a lot better than the other way around.<\/p>\n

F<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Violent Shit: The Movie~ 2015, Luigi Pastore, Italy Sigh<… You’d think by now that I’d have learned a thing or two about not getting my hopes up, but when I read the announcement for this project, it got my attention. It’s such a bizarre turn of events;Violent Shit, the quintessential no-budget German splatter film, was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[393],"tags":[1532,1424,1572,1571,1566,55,1568,1243,1573,1567,1105,1570,1564,1569,1565,447,216,422,1563],"class_list":["post-4772","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movie-reviews","tag-1532","tag-andreas-schnaas","tag-anthropophagus","tag-anthropophagus-2000","tag-claudio-simonetti","tag-germany","tag-giovanni-lombardo-radice","tag-italy","tag-joe-damato","tag-john-morghen","tag-leprechaun","tag-leprechaun-origins","tag-luigi-pastore","tag-satanic-coke-parties","tag-splatter-film","tag-video-nasties","tag-video-nasty","tag-violent-shit","tag-violent-shit-the-movie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4772","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4772"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4772\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4787,"href":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4772\/revisions\/4787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4772"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4772"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fantasticcrapcomics.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4772"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}